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Basking in daylight’s gentle gleam,
shedding the humility of the human dream.

When nightfall cloaks the sunset’s embrace,
the lamp turns into night’s seeing face.

By Han Shimei

This is my favourite poem of hers.

Han Shimei lives in the countryside of Henan. Married at the young age of 19, she longed for freedom in Chinese society, which still sought to trap women into unwilling marriages.

I found her through South China Morning Post, when they featured her in a SCMP film documenting her life, tribulations and struggles. And I fell in love with her poems instantly.

Being a poet myself (a small poet), I understood exactly the artistic expression and outlet of poems. It lifts and lightens the mind and body. It puts me into a sense of peace and deep sleep on a restless night.

Han Shimei’s poems open up a door into the life of a countryside housewife. Trapped and cornered in her life, I felt exactly her emotions in her poems. It broke my heart but it also inspired me.

Here’s why and what I think we can learn Han Shimei, the brave poet from Henan’s countryside.

We Can’t Change Some Things, But We Can Find Ways

You should check out her life story in the video above by SCMP. She was married at the young age of 19, and she didn’t want to accept it. It was only when she was 22 that she went to the man who married her.

She described his impression of her as a ‘money-making’ machine. Because she was poor, she was married for a dowry in the 1990s. She did all the housework at home and wasn’t allowed to leave home except for groceries.

He was ungrateful for her and was not appreciative. And Han Shimei was at her core, a free spirit. But she’s trapped in a thing called marriage. And she can’t leave him (though she has sent a divorce letter) as this will affect the reputation of her two children.

However, Shimei didn’t let that control her. She found a way to express herself and do the thing that she likes – write poems about her life and everything else. Instead of sitting down and despairing and blaming the world (which I have done at previous moments in my life), she opened up doors for herself.

She posted her poems online and many Chinese were touched by them. And I find that powerful. Rather than let circumstances dictate her life and choices, she carried all of them on her shoulders and forged a path forward.

We Need to Be Brave and Take the First Few Steps

Shimei was brave. Brave enough to be free. Not in the physical sense, but in mind and spirit. She accepted that she has to live with her circumstances for her children. But that didn’t stop her from pursuing her dreams of being a poet.

She didn’t say “Because of my circumstances, I can’t do these things”. She stood up and decided, “Despite my circumstances, I will pursue my dreams”.

That in itself, I feel, is the highest form of what Friederich Nietzsche described

“The discipline of suffering, of great suffering—know ye not that it is only this discipline that has produced all the elevations of humanity hitherto? The tension of soul in misfortune which communicates to it its energy, its shuddering in view of rack and ruin, its inventiveness and bravery in undergoing, enduring, interpreting, and exploiting misfortune, and whatever depth, mystery, disguise, spirit, artifice, or greatness has been bestowed upon the soul—has it not been bestowed through suffering?”

To be brave means taking on all your suffering and living with them. And from there, you strive to find meaning in them and live a fulfilling life despite them.

If you are scared of taking the first steps in your passion or dreams, know that they are all part of them. Take that first step regardless.

Fall into the darkest of pits, deepest of oceans. And climb back up again.

Pursue Your Passion, even If It Fails Initially

This is not meant for people living in poverty. I understand that to survive, you need financial stability to do so.

This is meant for people who do have some financial stability in their lives but feel ‘trapped’ in their jobs. Consider pursuing your passion whether part-time or full-time.

The number one thing that stops us from doing so – fear of failure. So, we keep staying in our comfort zone in our ‘not so liked’ jobs and tell ourselves that there is a ‘perfect’ time to do so.

In reality, there is no such thing as a perfect time. There is only a NOW that you can act upon. The more we tell ourselves that the road needs to be paved nicely before we step on it, the later we will act on it. And the later we will pursue our passion.

If it fails, it fails. Try again. Fail forward is the mantra that we should have in our lives. It is much better than staying stagnant at your current position.

For Shimei, when she first posted her first poems, she didn’t get any attention. She did it for her passion and it didn’t matter the amount of views, likes or comments.

Conclusion

Han Shimei’s determination to write poems should be looked at as a lesson for all of us. To pursue your passions regardless of circumstances, and to find a reason to move forward. And not a reason to stay where you are.

I find it fitting then to end this article with a poem of mine in response.

Looking forward, and to the future,
Taking first steps, on grass untouched,
Lifting the fog in front, to see,
Past the uncertainties, to the future.